Today I will express what is unique about myself

What is unique about myself? I really don't know. I mean, obviously, I am unique. A unique coming together of infinite streams of consciousnness, radiating back to the dawn of time, and on For EVER. Ever mixing, resonating, shifting. But, it's that mix that is unique at any given moment in time. Not me that is unique. It's  not 'my' pain, 'my' intelligence, 'my
 fear ect, they seem to be impersonal building blocks. Now why this process should be so painful, so messy, so unclear, I really don't know, but I do know that I just don't have a clue.

As for positively manifesting - ha.... if only. If only I could order up a delicious menu from the tapestry of life. Well, who knows, maybe I can :-) one day x

cold baked beans

I am tired, tired of not wanting to cook for myself only. I just cant be bothered.  If i had a partner I would cook, or even a flatmate. But, this living on my own, meh. So, I eat grapes, i eat beans, I eat dark, healthy chocolate,  gluten-free pasta and salad.

Is this good enough though? It is quite healthy food I suppose. At least I buy beans.

 It's my anxiety that stops me from cooking I know that. I know I need help to calm my nervous system down, and I know that few, if any are in any way, shape or form, willing to give that help, so I am kind of stuck, forever reeling round in a salt shaker of anxiety, day after day, whirling, wailing, stressing and sadding, oh

Feeling rubbish this morning. I usually do. I wake up tight, anxious, disconnected. I then work with my negative feelings,  I always love my body and feelings as they are.  I sometimes try active imagination. This morning,  for example, I asked what would heal my body and mind in the real world if anything would. I became clear that an oil bath would help, warm walnut oil, massaged deep into my anxieties and tensions. Then the essential oil of geranium, i could literally smell it. Then, for some reason to be covered with the energy of icing sugar which put a lively orange flow into my body, very refreshing.

Healed, healing and healing on

blessings x

Power, success and judgementality

With all these biopics coming to the big screen in 2018, I have been for the first time, really taking in what power could be, what making it big could be and what success could be. That is changing something inside. 

I was always afraid of success, thinking I couldn't make it, that people wouldn't want what I had. I did know that what I had, had personal value to me, but,  as far as extrinsic worth was concerned..... I 'knew' I had none.

No one, I thought could understand me. A part of me, for various mostly traumatic, reasons, closed down very young. And, that, as far as my body/mind knows, is all there is to it. My nervous system, is in complete flight mode, at least as far as making it big is concerned.That body/mind worldview has kept me small and fearful, not to mention poor.

A movement from Earth into my body is beginning now though. A swirling, dark mysterious energy that I can feel in my belly. It's low, and enquiring, but not arrogant. It could almost be called intelligent love, with some peace thrown in for good measure. What that has to do with power, true power, I don't yet know. But, my body does x

What can you do when something in the external world is irritating you?

What can you do when something in the external world is irritating you?

First,  breathe consciously.   This allows the body, mind, heart and mind to be nurtured, softened and opened,  even if you feel very bad.

Feel the emotions, thoughts and negativity that underlie the frustration, no matter how dark, messy, deep and trance-fixed.  Let go into and through these. Offer them Love. Allow the mess to soften and transform.

Send the feedback to your body through your mind and breathe in that you are loved and safe. Continue to allow emotions and feelings to arise.

Invite healing, and breathe it into your body/mind.

Then be open to  potentially seeing more.

Continue to breathe.

When you are ready, intend new perspectives and  solutions. Stay connected to your breathing and listen for insights arising in your body/mind that offer new information on the situation you face.

You could even try inviting in new programmes based on  safety and tenderness. See/feel what arises in response.

Breathe...

A calmness has descended over Ulverston. The skies are blue.  It's cold, but happy. The deep vibrancy of life is available - in this moment - now. Muscles relax, we breath deeply. Gratitude filters through body and soul, deep into the cellular matrix, the cellular matrix that is the basis of our life and well-being, our heart and soul.

Yoga class -  or miracles each day. A calmness descends.